


decompression

by goldkirk



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Team as Family, dreamworks if you're out there don't sue me i'm just a broke college student okay, i love them all so much, someone get these kids some therapy 2k18, space wars can really screw with your head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-03 20:31:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16332962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goldkirk/pseuds/goldkirk
Summary: An out-of-control Galra fighter spun at her fast, slamming into Green and causing a concussive shudder that nearly threw Pidge the rest of the way out of her seat and into the console.She tried to stop thinking after that.





	decompression

**Author's Note:**

> This is the product of one frantic afternoon of writing. Just a sort of stream-of-consciousness oneshot that I had while thinking about how the strain of war might feel grating down on the Paladins after a while, and how there's a lack of Pidge-centric fics and I want to give my girl some love.

The interstellar space around the lion was lit up like the Aurora Borealis in Pidge’s field of vision. 

Galra weapons, and Lions’ blasters, and ice beams and flames and every other possible kind of energy weapon seemed to be screaming for dominance in the middle of the battlefield, more chaotic than anything the combat simulations back at the Garrison had ever been meant to prepare them for. Her hands danced and spun over the controls, whipping Green to the side, and up, and down, and spinning in a barrel roll at just the right second to avoid a searing laser blast. 

Pidge’s heart pounded in her ears. Her own intense focus nearly drowned out Shiro’s voice as he kept calm for all of them while never failing to snap out clear, direct orders and warnings. She followed him to the letter, she trusted him with her life. Literally. They’d all follow Shiro to hell, if that’s what it came down to. 

_ (Some days, she wasn’t sure if that wasn’t exactly what they were doing.) _

Pidge flew and blasted and  _ roared _ , and there were getting to be times now where she really didn’t always know if it was her own voice, or Green’s, or both. She didn’t know which she would prefer. She’d never give up her bond with her lion for anything in the universe, but at certain moments, when they’d been through one too many battles in too short a time, it was getting terrifyingly easy to feel like she was losing herself in the rush and instinct of a fight.

Allura commanded, and Shiro led, and Pidge flew and dodged and killed and closed her eyes against the riot of colors that exploded  _ again _ . She was almost sure now that some of what she was seeing wasn’t visible with human eyes. There was hit after hit blasting away pieces of enemy vessels and tearing along the Lions’ hulls, sending debris flying into zero-g, and never any sound to go with it. 

Pidge wondered if when someone got spaced, the vacuum took the sound of even their own last scream away from them, or if the bones would conduct just enough vibration for them to hear it through their own head. Or if they would have enough presence of mind in those last seconds to even register the scream at all. An out-of-control Galra fighter spun at her fast, slamming into Green and causing a concussive shudder that nearly threw Pidge the rest of the way out of her seat and into the console. 

She tried to stop thinking after that.

After, when they had finally won the battle, when they’d walked solemnly down the ramps from their lions and gathered on the hangar floor, quiet like they always were after a battle, and damp with sweat and sometimes tears, Pidge pushed her helmet aside and laid on her back. Her left shoulder just bumped Shiro’s criss-crossed knee, and she heard him let out a small sigh as he gently nudged her back. No one needed words. Not then, when they were all numb in the same awful way from a battle that left them not even sure what time it was supposed to be or what they were meant to do afterwards.

Shiro always recovered the most quickly out of all of them. He’d certainly had more practice, and it showed. But after battles like this one, even he couldn’t jump back into being a  _ person  _ again right away. It was harder, in some ways, when they didn’t have a planet to immediately rush down to and help rebuild. There was too much time to  _ think _ .

Pidge’s fingers stretched up to the hangar ceiling above her, gently bending to follow the shapes of the air ducts and light fixtures as she traced them one by one. Fly. Fight. Dodge. Spin, fly, slash,  _ tear-- _

Her breath hitched. She clenched her fingers into a fist without realizing it for a moment, the flexed them back out when they started to shake ever so slightly. 

To her right, Lance turned his head to look over at her from where he leaned back on his hands. He blinked slowly. 

“You know,” he said quietly, voice almost devoid of all his normal energy, “it never does get any easier. Not even a little bit.”

Pidge swallowed, and pulled her hand back down to her chest. She closed her eyes. In the dark, she heard someone--probably Hunk, but maybe Keith, who knew these days--scrape across the ground to bump into Lance. 

“No,” Shiro agreed. “It doesn’t.” He reached over and pulled Pidge close. “I wish none of you had to go through this.”

“We chose this,” Keith said. Pidge’s mouth ticked up just a bit at how quickly he’d stepped in. There were some things you could always count on Keith for.

“No you didn’t,” Shiro said tiredly. Pidge blinked her eyes open at him from where she lay in his lap and frowned. “You weren’t even legal yet, except for Keith. The Blue Lion didn’t exactly give you a choice.”

“The Galra didn’t give you one, either,” Keith retorted. Shiro frowned.   
“It’s not the same,” he started, but Hunk interrupted.

“No, but it’s not that different either.” Hunk said firmly. Pidge watched as Hunk hauled himself to his feet, groaning a bit. It was rare for them to come out of a battle as big as the one they’d just had without some serious bruises. “Just because we had to make that wormhole jump without knowing what lay ahead doesn’t mean we didn’t choose to keep going on from there. We could have refused to be Paladins, or insisted Allura and Coran send us back to Earth, or refused to do any fighting and just died instead. We always have some kind of choice.” 

“And I could have left this to go search for my family, and even almost did,” Pidge added. “But I chose to come back and stay. I’m not saying we’re adults, and I’m not saying it’s  _ easy  _ or that the fighting and stress is good for us, because God knows it’s getting harder every--” Pidge cut herself off and breathed for a moment, and the other Paladins scooted closer. She took another deep breath and continued. “I’m not saying this is ideal, or that you need to be happy that we’re fighting in a war, Shiro, but it’s  _ not  _ your fault and never has been. You didn’t get a choice in this either.”

“Maybe not, but I  _ am  _ the commanding officer, technically, in the eyes of the Garrison and Earth’s laws. I have a responsibility for you all, and we’ve broken pretty much every law about minors being in wars that there are. Not to mention, you know,  _ kidnapping _ .”

“You didn’t kidnap us,” Lance laughed. “A giant alien robot did, and to be fair, we were the ones who got inside it first.”

“In the eyes of the Garrison and Earth’s laws,” Pidge said dryly, “you’re  _ dead _ .”

They all froze for a moment. Then a grin slowly broke out across Shiro’s face, spreading all the way up to crinkle the far corners of his eyes. 

“Oh my God,” he started to laugh. “You just made a gallows joke, and you’re  _ right _ .”

“Listen, you don’t get to have  _ all  _ the dark humor real estate around here. Someone’s got to give you some competition once in a while.” Pidge playfully punched his shoulder as she sat up. “Dad and Matt would, but unfortunately neither of them are on the Castle anymore, so I have to pick up the slack.”

Keith smiled, and hauled himself up from the floor at the same time as Lance. “None of this is your fault, Shiro. Just because it’s hard and we’re all probably going to need about a billion years of therapy after this, that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.”

Hunk nodded. “It’s not just right, it’s necessary.” He pulled Shiro up onto his feet and put an arm around his shoulders. “And I know we have the whole unspoken thing about what-is-felt-and-seen-and-heard-in-the-alien-magic-mind-meld-stays-in-the-mind-meld thing going on, but for the record? None of us would change a thing, except for being able to be in contact with our families. And as much as it hurts sometimes, that’s really a small price to pay to be able to make a difference the way we’re getting to.”

“We’ll get back to Earth,” Lance said, determined. “I know it. And Dr. Holt is paving the way for us, to make it easier.”

“That’s true,” Keith said.

Shiro turned to Pidge. “Hey,” his voice took on a slightly softer tone, and she knew it, and she knew he knew she knew it. “Speaking of mind meld things we don’t talk about...it seemed like today was rough for you. Are you okay?”

“I…” Pidge hesitated. 

“Because it’s okay to not be okay right now,” Shiro added. Then he glared around the cluster at each of them in turn. “That goes for all of you.”

Lance glared right back, and jabbed a finger at Shiro’s chest. “Yeah, well that goes for you too, Mr. Strong-In-Control-Leader.”

Shiro flicked Lance on the forehead and smiled. “Noted. But Pidge,” he said, turning back to her, “I mean it. You were kind of hard to reach sometimes today, like you were drifting. You don’t normally seem out of it at all.”

“It’s getting easier for me to get pulled too far in, I think,” Pidge said quietly. “I don’t--I don’t mean to, but sometimes all there is is the  _ fighting  _ and single moments and Green, and it’s all my brain can hold anymore, like I focus in too far.”

Keith’s already nodding. “It happens to me too if I’m not careful. Red likes to pull more and more from my instinct and snap-second judgements if she can, and it can get tricky to not slip to far into her and too far out of the links with all of you.”

“Then maybe we should do some training to try to deal with that,” Shiro mused, as they started heading for the hangar doors. “And also find a quiet sector to take at least a week off in, because I think all of us have had too many battles and not enough down time recently.”

They all made noises of agreement, and so did Allura from the hallway, who had just caught the tail end of the conversation. 

“Are you all more settled now?” she asked, looking at them solemnly. “We wanted to give you some more time, but I was getting worried.”

“Yeah,” Pidge answered for all of them. “Just needed to decompress, as usual.” 

Coran came up behind Allura from around the corner, nodding. “An important part of the end of each battle. As is the care of any injuries, which I’m assuming you lot have, as usual.”

The younger paladins groaned. “Please not the bruise gel again,” Lance begged. “Last time I didn’t stop smelling like onion grass and chicken coop for a  _ week _ .”

“Healing trumps comfort, Lance,” Shiro grinned. Lance flipped Shiro off behind his back. Shiro didn’t even bother looking back. “I saw that.”

Keith laughed and clapped Lance on the shoulder. “I’m taking a shower. But Lance has bruises and I bet Pidge might need a couple stitches on that head wound.” 

“What?” Pidge muttered, reaching up to poke along her hairline. “I don’t have a--” Her fingers hit tacky dried blood, and came away stained. “Huh.”

“Yeah,” Shiro said, slinging his arm around her and starting to march her down the hallway after Coran. “Like I said, you seemed out of it.”

“Maybe that was part of the problem today,” Hunk said, a little breathless as he was trying to wrestle his way out of his chestplate while walking. Lance reached over to help him out.

“Maybe,” Pidge agreed. 

“Regardless, Shiro is right,” Allura said firmly. “You all need a rest. We all,” she corrected, “need a rest. I’m going to go find us a suitable spot and wormhole over.”

“Maybe Olkarion?” Pidge said hopefully. “We haven’t been there in a while, and we could see how they’re doing with repairs from that last attack.

“I think that’s a good idea,” Lance seconded. “I miss trees.”

“Same,” Hunk grunted. “Although I miss my Mom’s cooking more.”

“Well if we’re going down that route, I miss the ocean,” said Lance, wistfully.

“I don’t miss the desert, and I don’t miss Earth much, but I do miss my hoverbike,” Keith called back from where he was heading down the hall in the other direction.

“You mean my hoverbike? The one I left you on loan when I went to space?” Shiro shouted back. “That hoverbike?”

“I...fine,” Keith yelled. “Your hoverbike. But I’m the one who upgraded the suspension. And now I’m going to shower for real. Bye!” Keith vanished around the corner.

“You okay down there?” Shiro asked, glancing back to Pidge. 

She waved a hand. “Yeah, I’m just tired. I’ll get there eventually.”

“Hmmm.” Shiro sounded playful. “Your legs are kind of short, did you ever notice that?”

“Rude,” Pidge said without venom.   
“Maybe we should help her out.” Hunk grinned.

Shiro nodded once. “Maybe so. Hang on, pipsqueak.” And before Pidge could get a word out, he had her scooped up and onto his back and was dashing down the hallway while she shrieked in his ear. “One express trip to the infirmary, coming up!”

Pidge couldn’t help but laugh. As Shiro’s gait bounced her gently up and down and her hair whipped around, she listened to her teammates--friends--family, really, she felt like being honest laugh and keep up the banter. Her loved ones were currently safe, Matt and Dad were alive, they’d successfully defeated the Galra again, even if it was hard, and in a little bit she’d be warm and bandaged and full of the closest thing to hot cocoa they’d been able to find in space and surrounded by her second family here on the Castle. 

The war was difficult, and it was going to be a long time before any of them could say they were really okay. But when they had times like this, despite how bad things could be, Pidge was able to believe that despite everything, it was going to all work out. And in the meantime?


End file.
